Considering that this is my week off from chemo - you'd think I would be in a better mood. I think I'm anxious about getting my bloodwork done tomorrow...and what that will tell us. Is the chemo working? Am I really just 3 treatments away from possibly beating this thing for a 3rd time? Someone introduced me the other day as a "3 Time Cancer Survivor"...I literally made an audible gasp - as if it took my breath away. It was as if I was thinking they were talking about someone else - and I suddenly realized they were talking about me. I prefer at this point to just call myself a Survivor - having to relive the past 3 years and the ups and downs...the "thinking" I was cancer -free, NED (no evidence of disease) and then to realize it was back. If I think about it too much - it's as if my heart breaks all over again. I just don't know how I got here...how am I even still standing???
On that note...I think I have officially reached my threshold of tolerance for people who say stupid things. I swear - if you ask me if I have a new summer haircut - why I think I got cancer - if I will be able to have kids after doing all this chemo - if you ask to see my scars - or ask to rub my head - or make a comment about how you thought all cancer patients were skinny (yes that happened - kick a girl while she's down why don't ya!) - I will not be responsible for what might happen to you. I might have to physically harm you! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
The last guy that said "Just decided to shave your head for the summer huh?" I dead-panned looked him in the eye and said "No - I'm dying of cancer". And waited a painful 10 seconds while he awkwardly fumbled to come up with a response. Which he had none. Am I "dying" of cancer? - NO. BUT, I will guess that guy will never ask another bald woman if she shaved her head for the summer. UGHHHH!
So, I have had 9 treatments and have 3 more to go! Our team walks the 3 Day Sept. 16-18th - between my last two chemo's. The more I think about this...the more I think I might have a screw loose. I'm tempted to make a shirt that says - "Fueled By Chemo". Our team has raised over $30,000 so far - and we are on track to raise quite a bit more in the next 2 weeks. It's exciting to see this all come together! Thanks to all of you who have donated! If you would like to support me and my team while we are at camp - you can send cards and write letters to: (must be postmarked by Sept.6th)
3-Day for the Cure
ATTN: Tracy Dart
P.O. Box 22636
Seattle, WA 98122
2 comments:
They actually ASK if they can rub your head. People just went ahead a rubbed mine. Perhaps they thought rubbing the head of the cancer survivor brought them luck.
Love your blog Tracy, and glad you can make light of things that can be so heavy. You are a perfect example of a spiritually superior person enduring a tough life experience. Luv you!
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